More Insight

Insight

(Dragonfly Ministries President, Mary Hamrick)

December 2002

Isn’t it something the way we learn things about ourselves through the passage of time and years?  I just finished a beautiful on-line Bible study called “Believing God”, by Beth Moore.  During the study I again realized that even though I have often times tried to run from God, He has a way of pulling me back into his arms, and since I’ve asked Him to guide my path, He is leading me back full circle to where He wanted me to be 26 years ago. 

When I was 17, I felt a call into ministry.  At that time, I thought everyone felt the same call, so I didn’t respond.  Rather, I made the decision to serve God in my own way and in my own time.  I made my own path; chose my own goals; serving God in a way that was convenient for me and calling on Him in times of need or trouble.  I went to church regularly and allowed Him into my life as long as His occupancy in my life didn’t interfere with my plans.  I never really allowed Him to be Lord of my life; I guess I was afraid of where He might want to take me. 

About three years ago, He got my attention and pulled me very closely to Himself.  It wasn’t until then that I realized how much He loves me – how much He loves each of us.  It was then that I realized the call I heard at the age of 17 wasn’t something that everyone heard.   And when I realized that, it answered a lot of questions I have had for many years.

For years, I waded in a sea of confusion as to what I wanted to be  “when I grew up”.  Until three years ago, I didn’t know what I wanted to be.  At that point, I knew that whatever I was going to be, it would be God directing my path and it would be God-centered.  In the past, I have struggled with wanting to know what my “one thing”, my “passion” is.  My goals have never been money oriented, but have always been people oriented.  You know, trying to make a difference in the world, one person at a time - that sort of thing.  I’ve never carried a passion for anything except for people … children in particular.  And I’ve always felt a deep spiritual connection with my Lord.

And now it all comes together.  It all makes sense. My passion is found in ministering to God’s children.  Talking with them, spending time with them, getting to know them.  God has given me a special passion for women and children; a passion to see them know Him and to grow in Him; a passion to pray for them.  And the passion He has given me runs deeper than anything the naked eye can see.  This passion pushes me to see the heart of the person and God gives me the wisdom of how to pray or meet needs. 

I am in a learning process, and I don’t think I will ever know all that God wants to teach me.  I have a stubborn streak that He is breaking down.  I have a sensitive side that He is toughening.  But along with these natural characteristics, I also have the desire to serve the Lord and to see His children cared for.  And that is the role in which He has called me.  That is my ministry role.  It is fulltime, because He wants me to care for others all of the time.  No matter where I am and no matter who they are.  And I’m willing to try.  Perhaps that’s what He wanted me for 26 years ago – to allow Him to love others through me and to grow me to be more Christlike.  That’s doesn’t sound so threatening now, but those many years ago, it scared me to pieces.  Now I answer, where He leads me, I will follow.

If you feel a particular pull on your heart and you think, ‘surely everyone feels the same way’, ask the Lord to show you the unique call that He has given to only you.  Not everyone is called into ministry; not everyone has a deep love for the elderly; not everyone enjoys music; not everyone can configure a computer (I sure can’t).  Whatever passion you have, put it to good use.  Use it to build God’s kingdom.  You are unique, and His call on your life is different from anyone else’s.  Give God the chance to show you what He wants to do with the passion He has given you.  It took me many years to realize that the call on my life when I was 17 was a lifelong call.  Though I tried to run from that path, the path of ministry, God has made it my hearts desire to serve Him and His children.  And He has brought me full circle back to where He wanted me to be many years ago.

“Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?" declares the LORD. "Do not I fill heaven and earth?" declares the LORD.  Jeremiah 23:24
Paraphrase: “You can run but you cannot hide.”

In Him,
Mary