More Insight

Insight

(Dragonfly Ministries President, Mary Hamrick)

August 14, 2003

The Lord is gracious and compassionate, abounding in love and forgiveness, revealing Himself to us in His timing, as our hearts are ready to hear.  (Psalm 103:8, Psalm 86:5, Habbakuk 2:3)

Today God showed me something that I really didn’t want to see but that I HAD to see; something that helped me understand God's silence of the past few weeks.  I call it the unveiling of Mary Hamrick, and it wasn't pretty. 

During my quiet time with the Lord, I asked Him a question that I had been hiding from for some time because I already knew the answer.  I asked, “Lord why this wilderness?  You have shown me the “Promised Land” that you are moving us into (Maryland), yet you have not allowed us to enter in.  Why are we wandering, waiting to enter?”

He reminded me of the story of Moses and the Israelites wandering in the wilderness (Exodus).  When Moses was present with the Israelites, they followed God, but when Moses was on the mountain with God for 40 days, the children of Israel became doubtful of their God.  To "double-up" on protection, they built a golden calf to worship, just-in-case Moses didn’t return, just-in-case God needed a 'back-up', and just-in-case God was preoccupied and forgot about them.  Because of their sin toward God, and their unwillingness to repent and turn from sin, He made them wander in the wilderness for many years.

In some ways, I am no different than the Israelite children were.  Today God showed me that I, too, have a “just-in-case” god.   When I don’t feel His presence, and when I don’t believe that He is there for me, then I turn to my golden calf, my “just-in-case” god, for the provision, comfort or strength that I need.   Though I continually pray for purity of heart, the revelation of sin in me hurts every time.  Seeing this sin in my life caused me to repent and commit to turn from it.  Today I melt the golden calf named “just-in-case” and pray that God will strengthen me and carry me on eagles wings through the process of breaking the old habit of depending on a ‘worldly god’ to cover for Him should He forget about me or should He fail me.  He reminds me that He will never leave me and that I can always depend on Him, for He loves me with an everlasting love (Hebrews 13:5, Proverbs 3:5, Jeremiah 31:3).  I don't want sin to keep me from the best that God has to offer, so as we wait on the Lord to guide us into our "Promised Land", my prayer is that He will continue to purify my heart, moment by moment and day by day.  And I am confident that, in His timing, we will be ready to enter our new home.

Do you have a “just-in-case” god in your life?  Something or someone you turn to in times of doubt or need rather than turning to God?  If your immediate answer is no, I ask you to pray this prayer from Psalm 139:23-24:

 “Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me
And lead me in the way everlasting."

As the Holy Spirit shows you areas of your life that you place above your relationship with God, allow Him, through prayer, meditation and reading the Bible, to teach you why you choose to give that “just-in-case” god a higher priority in your life than you give to Him, and allow Him to break down this golden calf, this idol, so that He can become your trust, your comfort, your security.  The unveiling of your true self may be ugly, but should you allow God to work a change in you, the result will be a heart that is more like the heart of Jesus.  Say yes to melting the golden calf and presenting the sacrifice of your heart to the Lord for healing and for strength.

You are in my prayers as we travel this spiritual journey together,
Mary Hamrick