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Insight
(Dragonfly Ministries
President, Mary Hamrick)
February
2004
"Comfort in Suffering"
Someone once told me that losing
a parent was one of the hardest things we will face in this life.
Now I understand. Back in 2001, I wrote a tribute to my dad, Johnny
Eckard, in the Chapter & Verse section of the website, Genesis 29.
My love for him nor his love for me never failed, never faded.
There was a moment in an airport
years ago when a traveler exited a plane and was met by a family member
– the traveler and greeter looked like sisters. As their eyes met,
tears immediately came into their eyes and a mournful wail could be heard
throughout the airport terminal as they fell into each others arms and
wept tears that shattered grief over all within hearing distance.
This made a strong impression on my heart. On January 30th, as I
entered the funeral home in N.C. to honor the life of my father, I caught
sight of my sister and the airport scene replayed in my mind, except this
time it was personal, it was happening to us. I don’t remember taking
the steps to get to her, but I remember knowing that as soon as I could
grab her, I could fall apart, so I rushed into her arms and we wept together,
holding each other tight, and we grieved our loss and allowed emotions
that had been stored up for over a week to spill out.
There are moments when we feel
that we must be strong, and we are able to hold it together. And
then there is that moment after we’ve been as strong as we can be, when
we see someone who represents comfort and love and strength, and our inner
self melts and we know that now is our turn to grieve, to weep, to release
all that we have into the arms of that person that we know loves us – no
matter what – unconditionally.
The love pouring forth feels
as though someone has taken our heart into their gentle hands and tenderly
massages healing balm into our heart to help it heal. It is a healing
balm, a salve, applied to the heart - it is love. I haven’t
been around death very much in my lifetime – I have been shielded from
the understanding and hurt of this deep pain. And for many years,
I didn’t quite get the importance of going to family visitations or funerals,
telling myself the family was in a lot of grief and so they wouldn’t know
if I was there or not. But now I know the importance (of showing
your support through attendance, cards, emails, flowers, etc.) – it’s about
providing support and comfort to the grieving family. Seeing the
faces of people who have been friends of your loved one brings back beautiful
memories of your loved ones life, and it reminds you how much your loved
one was cherished. Seeing faces from your every day life and from
your past reminds you that you have been and still are loved and important.
Death brings about the reality that we are here for only a time, and then
we are called home. There is healing and comfort that comes from
seeing these people, their faces, the tender age lines around the eyes,
the graying of the hair, the hand that holds onto you and whispers into
your ear the name of Jesus that says more than words could ever speak;
their smiles comfort and their tears weep with you, providing a balm to
the heart.
We are so blessed to have people
that love us. And we all have someone who loves us. We have
love in times of sorrow. Love that will travel for hours to hold
and weep with us. Love that travels through snow and cold to hug
us. Love through family members not seen in years and from friends
from childhood. Love that travels via email, U.S. mail, telephone
and through floral arrangements.
Love – God said to love one
another, to cherish each other. As our lives unwind and we come face
to face with the death of our loved ones, we need to look at our
lives, our family ties, our friendships – the people that God has yet to
bring into our lives, and be reminded that we are to love each one
of them, unconditionally, moment by moment, and to be obedient to God in
teaching them about Him, His ways, His commands. Because we love
those around us, we should want to see them, too, in the ever-after, in
Heaven.
And I am reminded, “That life
is about loving God and loving others, a person at a time, moment by moment,
as Jesus taught us to love.” (JGEckard)
Johnny Gray Eckard, Sr.
Breath
written by Sandra Hammack
Oh, the beauty of a breath,
more radiance surrounds her
than a red sunset.
With angelic ease, and poise,
and grace,
moves unencumbered, no restraints.
Gentle and quiet is her dance,
weaves in and out her sustenance.
She has no voice, cannot be
seen,
yet touches every living thing.
The voice she rests on gives
her strength,
She whispers life, and hope,
and peace.
My daily prayer is that she
stay,
although these lips n'er speak
her name.
She shares her life with those
God made,
and humbly consents to go
unnamed.
Through tear-filled eyes my
one request,
as her gentle rhythm within
Dad's breast,
his tender bossom fills, then
rests,
please come again, oh sweetest
breath.
My sister, Sandra, wrote the
above poem after seeing Dad in the hospital,
struggling to breathe.
He suffered from cancer and lung disease,
and it was very difficult
for him to breathe without assistance.
Comfort
in Grief and Mourning
written by Mary Slovak for
all who grieve
I know the emotional roller coaster
you are riding right now. I know all the whys, how’s and when’s that are
bombarding your mind. I know the constant aching in your heart that won’t
seem to go away. The continuing questioning of yourself with the, “did
I” or “should I” or “could I”. I want you to know that this is a grieving
process that you are going through. First you will be kind of mummified.
You will robot through your routine like you are watching yourself from
somewhere else. Do not let people tell you, “It’s been 8 months.
Aren’t you over it yet?” No, love never dies! I think that this feeling
you are feeling is a part of what Jesus felt when God was removed from
him for a while. Going through is a key word here and everyone will say
that this hurting will pass. And it will, but it will take years and that
is what they don’t tell you. The biggest step in the healing process is
after all the firsts. The first’s birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas and
anniversaries without your loved one. Then you stop living in the past
or was and start back on the path of is and will be. Don’t be afraid! Cry
when you need to cry and that will be everyday for awhile. Then God starts
putting new wonderful and thoughtful distractions in your life (grand babies,
family, A’s on report cards) and you will discover that you didn’t cry
one day. You will be and feel whole again! Glory be to God!!!!!
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