More Insight

Insight

(Dragonfly Ministries President, Mary Hamrick)

July 2006

"Life Lesson - Insignificance"

The word “allure” -  it speaks to my heart of someone drawing me away, into a quiet, desired place.  Over the past few months, I have fallen into a quiet place in my spirit, heart and life.  I don’t know how to describe a quiet place in the spirit except to say that I wanted to be alone with God as much as possible, in all aspects of life –– in my thoughts – so I chose to withdraw from activities and contact with others.  It has not been a place of depression, fear or worry.  The only way I know to describe the experience is that I sensed I was being drawn away so that God could teach me something, and it would require that my spirit be quieted enough to hear what He wanted to teach.  It was like I was descending from a mountaintop into a valley to rest and be restored. 

As I mentally and spiritually rested in the quiet place, I knew that God had taken me to that place and that He was with me.  I sought the Lord through prayer, scripture reading, music and prayer walks.  During the three months of quiet, I realized that there are so many areas in my life that are in need of repair.  Repair that only the sweet hand of the Lord can reveal and fix.

God has been revealing to me depths of my heart that desire to please others.  Not him, but people.  I am a people-pleaser. I always have been.  Now, God is whispering to me that I am to live my life to please Him only and not man.  When I take a step forward in obedience to Him, there are going to be those who criticize, second-guess, or try to hold me back; maybe because through obedience I am appearing to be taking a foolish step, or perhaps they just don’t understand obedience to Christ.  Over and over again, He has brought me through test and trial of learning this lesson – to seek HIM only, to please HIM only, to obey HIM only --- and in doing these things, everything else will fall into place.  Our pastor recently said, “doing the will of God is never without opposition; but doing the will of God is always done by obedience.” 

As this lesson has played out, I’ve been grasping it bit by bit, day by day.  I knew that I was in a quiet place and I knew it was a valley.  But there’s a difference between being in a valley and a pit.  A pit is a place of darkness and depression that is hard to escape from, hard to get out of.  The valley is a place of quietness of spirit where you know you are not alone and that you are there for a season to learn, to grow, to be restored.   While in this valley, I knew that God was growing me, teaching me and preparing me for the next step of my spiritual journey.
The quiet place lasted for three months. 

During these three months, I struggled with the complete lesson that God was teaching me; sure, it was about pleasing God and not people, but what was the root of the problem?  Why did I feel like I needed to please people in addition to trying to please God?  I knew that, in God’s timing, He would reveal the root of the problem to me, and on the three month anniversary to the day when He had started leading me down into the valley to rest and be taught, He gave me one word … “insignificant”.  That word hit me in the heart and mind pretty hard.  “Insignificance?” I asked.  What does that have to do with this lesson of people pleasing?  The answer, “You are struggling with feelings of insignificance, so you seek significance from the approval of others.” 

Insignificance, according to Webster, means “lacking meaning or importance; not worth considering; lacking weightiness, power, authority, or influence”.  I read the word “weightiness” and it stuck in my head, but I discounted the word as insignificant and moved on to the other words. 

Then … I sat down to read a book called “The Threshold of Glory” and the first chapter says, “There is no glory without sacrifice; there is no glory without suffering; there is no glory without death.”  Translation for Mary Hamrick is this:  I must die to my desire for self-significance; my desire to please people must die; my desire for acceptance from this world must die”.  Then, and only then, can Christ be glorified through my life.   Then, when I turned the page I read, “God’s glory is a manifestation of His nature and His intrinsic worth.  God’s glory is the true essence of the core of who He is.  His WEIGHT represents the heaviness of His worthiness, awesomeness, and His influence, power and authority.”  The first word that stuck out was WEIGHT  - God does not lack weight, power or authority … those are the three things that Satan was planting in my mind with his word “insignificance” - , and God counteracted the definition of insignificance with the words from this awesome book … HE is my strength, He is my weightiness, He is my power and my authority and my influence.  When my life is centered in HIM, I AM SIGNIFICANT because HE IS WORTHY!  

As we walk through the valleys and mountaintops of our spiritual journey, God is constantly opening our hearts and minds to grow more and more into His likeness.  We need to always have our hearts and minds focused on Him so that we can learn these life-lessons.  He is my Creator, my Rock on which I stand … God IS my portion, He IS my significance.  In Him, I have value and worth and approval and acceptance.  Whether anyone else sees it should not matter to me, for through HIS eyes, I am significant, my life has meaning, I am worth considering, and through Him, I have His power, authority and influence to change the world.  And that is, after all, my hearts desire – to make a difference in this world for Him.

I am always in awe when God teaches me a life lesson … I am learning that when God “allures” me into a quiet place, it is for a life lesson that will redirect my path, refocus me on another aspect of who He is, and grow me more and more into His likeness.  After going through a wonderful valley, I stand amazed at how He brings lessons to life so that they apply and stick and  become a part of who I am; of who we are.

Today, I am many steps up the mountain, out of the valley, with my eyes on the one who is Worthy to be praised.  Our awesome God.

Mary H.