More Glimpses

Glimpses

(written by Harley Castleberry)

The Invisible Line

It seems that when we reach a certain age, we cross an invisible line.  Once across it, there are more and more funerals to attend and less and less birthday parties and births to celebrate, and few if any, weddings to attend.  I have crossed that line.  

Mother is 99 years old, and when she passes from the scene, I will be in the batter's box as the senior member of our family.  I find myself thinking more and more of departed friends and relatives, and how sorry morals and ethics are in today's world. 

On Monday morning, I received a call at from my sister in Midland.  She told me that she had noticed an obituary in the Lubbock paper that Roy Miles had died at the age of 79.  I don't guess that I ever really knew how much older Roy was than I.  If I did, I had forgotten it.  Roy was one of the sons of my dad’s partner in the lumber business.  I worked with him from my age 14 until I was 21, when my dad sold his interest in the business to his partner.  Both sons of the partner were great role models and good friends.  Both impacted my life in favorable ways.  Roy was empathetic with my inexperience and from time to time gave me valuable advice.  Some of that information has stood me in good stead until this day. When I got that call on Monday, my thoughts for the day were forever altered as I kept recalling things from the past.  I wondered if the cancer (he thought he had licked several years back) had returned and finally claimed his life.  I would like to have attended the funeral, but the notice I received was quite short, and that's a 700+ mile trip for a 30 minute service.

On Tuesday morning, the phone jarred me out of peaceful slumber.  It was an old friend from my single days.  He called to let me know of Roy's death.  He had a little more information than what the Lubbock paper had provided.  He said the death was a suicide.  This jerked me around inside.  Was it the prospect of facing cancer again that made him do that?  We may never know.  I thought of the two times that I seriously considered cutting an escape hatch, and getting out of this world myself.  My faith hung by only a thread on those occasions, but by the grace of God, I kept going - one day at a time.  If Roy was weighted down by seemingly insurmountable obstacles, I could identify.  I don't think it's the right thing to do, but I could identify.  At times, it seems that this planet is not suitable for human habitation.

I thought about Christ's teachings about the 10 Commandments.  "To think it, is to have committed the act."  God knew that man could not keep 10 simple commandments.  To break one is to have broken them all!  God has "zero tolerance" for sin and that's why Christ had to come as a sacrifice, to pay the price for our sins in order for us to again have access to God.  Is suicide a greater sin that stealing, or adultery?  We just naturally tend to categorize sin in varying degrees, but is suicide washed away in Christ's blood?  Let me ask it in a different manner.  Is there any sin that Christ’s blood will not cover?  I've heard it said that there is only one "unpardonable" sin, and that being the sin of unbelief.  Well that one will certainly separate an individual from God on a permanent basis.  For many years, I have been thankful that I will not be sitting as judge on Judgment Day!  Based on human views, prejudice, emotions and many other factors, that event would be so mired in my mishandling, that it would take God Himself to untangle the mess, based on my vast lack of divine under-standing.

I believe that Roy's Christian faith was adequate to have allowed the gates of Heaven to swing wide at his arrival, just the same as it did for the thief on the cross, murderers, criminals of all types, and one day me, who have accepted Christ as their Savior.  Years ago, we had a next door neighbor, a young mother of two, who developed brain cancer and subsequently died.  My wife went to visit her in the hospital, but there was no opportunity to visit.  The poor woman was in such pain that her screams of agony could be heard throughout that floor of the building.  God says that he will not put more on us than we can bear, but He is also a God of mercy, compassion, love and grace.  It is often hard to understand how all this fits together in God’s plan.  I have no answers for many of the thoughts I have had this week, but I have faith that God will treat us lovingly, as our Father. 

God is love.

Harley