More Glimpses

Glimpses

(written by Harley Castleberry)

"I Needed That"

I sat listening with rapt attention as a visitor gave his testimony from the podium in our church.  He was several years older than me, and a very good speaker.  He had experienced some very dramatic events in his life.  While I no longer remember any specific details, in my mind I can still visualize him standing before us.

After he spoke, I recall reviewing my own lack-luster testimony and thinking “I wish I had a testimony like that.”  That was not the first time that I felt my experiences of God’s working in my life seemed to be without flavor.

One of the first vacations that Beth and I took, after our marriage, brought us through Dallas in the dead of winter.  There were no “by-passes” around towns and cities then.  A traditional “blue norther” was blowing, and as we drove through the heart of the downtown area, very few pedestrians could be seen.  The wind was strong, it was very cold and the place seemed deserted.  Beth wanted to go to the well advertised Neiman Marcus store.  She wanted to get her mother a gift from “Neiman’s.”  There were certainly no comparable stores where we came from.  Needless to say, we were way out of our element, but finally Beth bought her mother a fifty-cent head scarf for only five dollars!  As we left Dallas in the background, I vividly recall thinking, and then saying aloud, “That’s the last place on earth that I would ever want to live.”  Apparently God heard me and went right to work.  Thirteen years later we moved to Dallas.  That’s been thirty-one years ago.  Today our burial plots are paid for, as well as a headstone that marks our youngest son’s grave and announces the future arrival of Beth and me.  All that is lacking on our portion of the stone is the dates of our deaths, and we’ll be all set until the trump sounds.  A smile comes over my face almost every time I think about it.  “…the last place on earth I would ever want to live.”  I must have said something incorrectly because; evidently God thought that I wanted to finish out my days in Dallas.  He graciously granted my wish.  (Dallas has been good to us.)

He also granted my wish about having a testimony with a little more “zing.”  No problem!  I had never even considered what had to take place for a person to have a testimony like I guess that I was envying.  What possessed me to desire such a thing?  Envy must be the word.  I can’t come up with a better explanation.  

I do not blame God for any bad experiences that I have had, or tough times in my life.  He is the giver of every good and perfect gift.  Guess where the bad stuff comes from.  For those who love God, He promises to make all things – good and bad – work for good, and to His glory.  This is like our having a Devil-proof Teflon coating.  That is not to say that as we experience trials and tribulations that we will be immune to getting some knocks, bruises and loose a little hide.  It can be very unpleasant, but I know that by going through some rough times and experiences, and trusting God all the while, I came out a better person.  Looking back – not while it was going on – I can truthfully say, “I needed that.”  Often these are not easy lessons, but God has frequently gotten my attention and added to my faith.  Times like that are times of growth.  I have heard it said that is the only time our faith grows.  My pride dictates that “I can do it myself” - until I run up against those powers and principalities that the Apostle Paul wrote about.  I found that to enrich my testimony it was necessary (for God) to exercise and  s-t-r-e-t-c-h  my faith because I frequently run out of personal ability, and zeal, before the battle is won.  Am I ever thankful to be a Christian, and on the winning side!

Why does bad stuff happen to us?  It’s not so we can boost our egos whenever we give our personal testimonies.  “I needed that,” because others around me are experiencing similar difficulties in their lives.  They need to know that they’re not the only person on earth to be confronted with difficulties such as theirs.  They need encouragement.  They need to know that God does not bring bad things.  That is the doings of Satan.  They may need to be introduced to God.  They may simply need someone to listen – and to care.  There may be other opportunities with my name on them.  If I am unwilling to utilize and share this hard earned knowledge, then the Devil wins on every count!  The bottom line is – I have been there!  The masses have not experienced exactly what I have experienced.  I wouldn’t be much of a witness to someone who has had a child kidnapped, but now I can identify with and relate to someone who has been laid off their job, seriously contemplating suicide, lost a parent, had to completely change careers, or lost a child to cancer.  

The Devil meant it all for bad, but I am a stronger person, my witness is greater and God receives glory!