Joy
in Friendship
Hello friends, it’s
been awhile. Or maybe this is the first time you’ve been to the Joy
To You page. I’m glad you are here.
Ouch. I hurt;
I cried. My tummy ached from the pain of rejection and betrayal;
someone I loved had left me. I had been left out of a very important
event in this person’s life; this person wouldn’t talk to me anymore.
We used to laugh together and share our most private thoughts. There
was no one else I could trust like I had trusted this person. I had slowly
and carefully come to love and care about this person. I had tried
to take care of this persons needs before I took care of my own.
I miss this person’s
friendship so much. I miss our laughing together. I miss our talking about
ourselves at the same time and not really listening to each other. We were
just glad to have someone to talk to. I miss this person’s smile.
I miss this person’s encouraging words. I miss this person telling me,
“look at yourself before you point a finger.” I’m so sad; I’m so
hurt. We shared some tough times together, which caused me
to bond with this person. We were there for each other when we were down.
I miss this person in my life.
Does this sound like
something you have experienced? You know, this could be a husband, a relative,
a friend. Whoever it was, it hurt so deeply that you swore to never
trust anyone again like you did this person. You promised yourself
you would never love like this again. No, never again.
No one would ever have that part of you that is vulnerable. That was it.
The end.
Oh, I forgave that
person but I would not trust that person again. I will not be hurt that
way again. I would not take that risk. The risk of loving someone and loving
them so completely that I loved even their faults and they loved mine.
Then Satan stepped
in and began his skill of “destruction”. When he sees that God has
started building something, Satan sets out to destroy what God is building;
and many times he does just that – destroys something beautiful that God
has started. Satan took a close fulfilling friendship where two people’s
goals were to meet the needs of each other and allow God to fill in the
gaps, and he destroyed it.
Where is the joy when
you are hurt so deeply that your body aches and the sobs are so loud they
scare your dog? (Don’t laugh—they really did!) Why had this person
listened to the lies of others? Why had this person allowed his or
her own imaginings to become so large they became truth? Where do I go
for joy in the midst of this? Where do I go when I feel so alone?
Go to prayer; meet
Jesus there. What I had tried to gain from that relationship could
only come from a personal relationship with God, allowing the Holy Spirit
to minister to my needs. I do believe that God has placed in us the
desire to have earthly friendships. Jesus had close friends, John (one
of the disciples), Lazarus and his sisters Martha and Mary.
However, Jesus sought the will of God before seeking earthly relationships.
“…But seek
first His Kingdom and His Righteousness, and all these things shall be
given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33
Without the Holy Spirit
dwelling within us we cannot love, forgive, share, trust, etc. In
and of ourselves we are nothing—dead nothings.
Paul put it this way
in Romans:
“Anyone who lives
according to the sinful nature (flesh controlled) has their minds set on
what that nature(flesh) desires; but anyone who lives in accordance (oneness)
with the Holy Spirit has their mind set on what the Spirit of God desires!
The mind of sinful man is death. The mind controlled by the Spirit of God
is life and peace. (Hey---that’s JOY to me!)
The sinful mind
is hostile to God. The sinful mind does not submit to God’s law.
(One of which is John 13:34) The sinful mind cannot do so.
Anyone controlled
by the sinful nature cannot please God. You, however, are controlled
not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit of God, if the Spirit of God
lives in you (yeah-YOU and in Me!)
And if anyone does
not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong in Christ, but if Christ
is in you, your body is dead because of sin because your spirit is alive
because of righteousness. (Hey, but we’re walking around, so how are
we alive???) If the Spirit of God who raised Jesus from the dead is
living in you, God who raised Christ from the dead will also “GIVE” life
to your mortal body through His Spirit, who lives in you!
So, sisters and
brothers, we have an obligation---but it is not to the sinful nature (flesh)
to live according to its demands. For if you live according to the
sinful nature, you will die. If by the Spirit you put to death the
sins of the body, you will live!!!!
Those who are led
by the Spirit of God are sons and daughters of God.
For you did not
receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear… but you received
the Spirit of Sonship (and Daughtership).
And by Him we cry…
“Abba. Father.”
The Spirit himself
testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are
children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed
we share in his sufferings, in order that we may also share in His glory!”
Romans 8:5-17
Bottom line…
In order to have “Joy” in an earthly relationship, it will have to be with
another believer; one who allows the Holy Spirit to dwell within them and
who recognizes their inheritance. This does not mean that you are not to
be kind and loving to all mankind. God has commanded that of us. It is
with His love that we do so. I’m referring to a close intimate friendship,
the type that never dies.
God has given us the
gift of friendship:
v Someone to
communicate with on earth.
v Someone that
loves you in spite of yourself.
v Someone that
corrects you when you need it.
v Someone that
lifts you up when you are down.
v Someone whose
needs you meet before your own.
v Someone that
you forgive over and over.
I love you and will
write more soon,
Martha
If you want to have
a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, go to our home page and click
on the NeedHim icon. Call the number on the screen and talk to someone
who has been where you are and who and wants you to know Christ.
NeedHim counselors will pray with you and help you understand what it means
to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. You are in our
prayers. We love you.
