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Pictures from
the Retreat

Getting There
(Mary Hamrick)

Bricks, Bricks, Bricks
(Mary Hamrick)

Friday Evening,
"HEALING"
(Sandra Hammack)

Saturday
"God's Blessings"
(Christy Dodson)

Saturday
"Fish Jumping for Me"
(Sandra Hammack)

"By His Stripes"
(Beverly Jensen)

"Blessings, Showers from Above"
(Lisa Ingle)

JOURNAL ENTRY:
Getting there
written by Mary Hamrick

My husband, Andy, drove Kelly, Beverly, Christy and me to the airport, Bless his heart – stuck in a 50 minute drive to the airport with four giddy, excited women, two of whom had never been to Texas before, one who had never been on an airplane before, all four excited to be traveling anywhere together, especially to a place in Texas to worship our God.

As we boarded the plane, three of us sat side by side with me in the middle, and lucky Christy sat behind us on the aisle seat, with 2 quiet strangers.  Our giddiness followed us off the runway, into the air, over the states of West Virginia, Tennessee, and whatever other states are between Maryland and Texas.  I don’t think we stopped talking to look out the window. 

We used the opportunity to solve the world’s spiritual troubles, to digest past spiritual experiences, and just to visit with each other.  I’m almost certain that Christy used the time to be still and thank God that she wasn’t in anyway connected to the three giddy women sitting in front of her.  (Did I mention that Christy had never been on an airplane before?  Well, also, the three of us are 13+ years older tand Christy, so basically, she was traveling with three mothers  (soon, it would be more like her grandmothers because we came to see that she has it all together – though quiet and shy, she’s smart as a whip).  We destined to bring Christy out of her shyness and she destined to get us where we were going safely in spite of our endless goofiness and chatter.  One thing God showed us right way – Christy was very good at everything – retrieving baggage, navigating, speaking common sense, programming cell phones and setting clocks.  We had no idea what a charm we had brought with us on our trip.  And here we were, thinking we were going to help her find her way.

In Dallas, we were greeted by my sister, Sandra (aka SAM), who had flown in earlier that morning.  Sam and I grabbed each other and embraced – oh my goodness, she was giddy too.  Poor, poor Christy!  Then, a miracle occurred and we were all overwhelmed – Christy and Sam met and then – hold on – Christy became giddy too.  On no, I thought, now who’s going to take care of us?  We can’t have five giddy women in one car together.

Christy loaded up our luggage in the rental van – she even secured Kelly’s guitar case so it would only fall out once during the entire trip.  We loaded up the van with woman luggage, which means way too much baggage for 2 nights and 3 days, and we headed to Kaleo Lodge.  I didn’t realize at the time that the luggage wasn’t nearly as heavy as the emotional and spiritual baggage that each of us had also brought along with us.  I’m glad Christy didn’t have to carry that for us too, that would have been a great burden on a precious Child of God.

On Friday morning before we left Maryland, I quietly asked the Lord if it would be okay for me to take the ladies to the Sam Moon.  I know it sounds odd to ask God such a thing, but this trip belonged to Him, every moment, and I didn’t want us to lose our focus by having a shopping trip, if that wasn’t what God had intended.  My spirit was at peace, and I sensed that God smiled on the question and answered with a yes.
Well, anyone who has ever been to Dallas, Texas knows that, “Once the Lord says yes, there’s always time to stop and shop at Sam Moon’s.” 

So as Beverly whined, “I’m hungry, let’s stop and eat … where are we going? It’s lunchtime …”, I navigated the van to the new Sam Moon shopping center in Texas.
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JOURNAL ENTRY
Bricks, Bricks, Bricks
Mary Hamrick

Sam Moon … a place to buy jewelry, luggage, purses, household items, scarves, trinkets, silver crosses, and much more, at great prices.  It would have been inhospitable for me to host four women in Texas without showing the highlight of Harry Hines Blvd.  As we approached the shopping center, we noticed that Sam Moon also has a deli – yeah Beverly!  Now we can feed her hunger pangs and our shopping pangs.  All needs covered, all needs met.  This was going to be a weekend to remember.  Look out Sam Moon, five giddy women coming your way, and their energy level is only increasing!

Trinkets, jewelry, home items, silver crosses, and gifts galore behind us, we ended our Sam Moon shopping spree and headed east to Kaleo Lodge in Mineola, Texas.  We immediately turned our focus to getting to the retreat and, amazingly, didn’t share very much information about what we had just purchased.  During our trip, Bev took full advantage of Christy’s electronic skills and had her set the clock and alarm on her cell phone.  I made a note of Christy’s skill in setting up cell phones, and determined to take full advantage of her skills later.

Martha Shipman taught our lesson Friday night.  The scripture verse was 1 John 1:9-10, “If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.”   As Martha began to teach, she stopped – mid-sentence, and said, “Mary, come and pray.  Darkness is trying to block my words, and we need to pray for the light to get through.”  I know that when Martha speaks these words, she needs to be covered in prayer so that the evil one will flee and so that the voice of God can be heard.  Bev and I held hands with Martha and prayed for peace, for light, for God’s spirit to infiltrate the room and for the dark spirits to flee. 

This is a very important part of the journaling, because it is important for God’s children to know that anytime we try to teach, preach, lead others into a closer relationship with the Lord, we are going to come against spiritual powers of darkness that try to block our thoughts, our words, and infiltrate our mind so that we can’t hear God’s voice speaking the words to our hearts that He wants us to speak through our mouth.  In commanding the evil one to flee, in the name of Jesus, he must go.  Evil cannot be in the presence of the Lord, and the name of the Lord will cause Satan to flee every time!  Guaranteed!

Martha brought in a box of bricks – one for each woman.  The brick represented the heaviness of heart and spirit that we carry when we are held down by sin.  Imagine a brick on your shoulder for every unconfessed sin in your life:

We arrived at the Lodge on Friday. After dinner, Martha spoke. She used bricks to display her message - bricks are the lies we build between us and worshipping God. I didn't hear much after she had gotten that point across to me. The lies in my own life started to flood into my mind. I began jotting down each one.  "You're incompetent" was first, a lie told to me by a very competitive former co-worker. Then, more, "your life has no purpose", "you are weak", but lastly, "you are a fake; you pretend to be weak, but we all know who you really are; you pretend to be weak so that you can use others" - a lie a co-worker once told me, and that had been reiterated by [a loved one] in a state of delirium from sickness and medication.  I had known that these were Satan's words, because they cut deeper than any other.

"The lie that I am a fake has been with me for more than 2 years, now and I cannot let it go."  Mary held my hand, having also been close to the loved one who had said it, and knowing the pain I'd felt. Martha said, "I want us to pray with you now, Sam."  Mary sat at my right knee, and the other women gathered around, each whispering their prayers and touching my hand or shoulders.  Martha told God that I'd been told this lie over and over, and that it hurts each time I hear it. She asked him to remove the pain, and give me peace. Soon after, I heard the other women whispering their prayers a little louder, and I heard a very unfamiliar prayer.  It was so beautiful, so musical, so rhythmic, a sort of song to God. Something within me said, sit still and experience what I have for you.

I felt a cleansing, tingling, almost a burning sensation through my torso, and knew the Holy Spirit was with me, removing the lie, and replacing it with peace. I closed my eyes as I listened to the musical, mystical prayer, and envisioned beautiful gemstones flowing down from heaven, like the stones we are -- we are the stones of his Kingdom.  The sensation that I had felt somehow flowed right out of my body, and I could envision God's hand pulling the lie and the pain right out.  I tried to recall what the lie was after that, and simply could not think of it, or feel it's pain.  All I could feel was peace.  Even now, this lie does not haunt nor hurt me. At times I am reminded that others may see me as a "fake", being nice only for my own purposes, but I remember God's peace that passes understanding, and the experience that I had with that peace. I remember that God made me human, and that others will try and "size me up" and fit me into their "categories", but none of that makes me a fake. I am a child of God, I know he is real, he knows that I'm real, and I know that my belief, and faith in him are also real.

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Christy in the canoe

JOURNAL ENTRY    
"God's Blessings"
Christy Dodson

The first thing that caught my eye at Kaleo Lodge was the beautiful pond.  I saw a pile of canoes and, being the adventurer that I am, couldn’t wait for the opportunity to take one out on the water.

That evening, we were told that we would have a five hour quiet time the next day.  I immediately thought, “Oh great, five hours of quiet time, how boring!  I’ll never make it though.”  Then I prayed and said, “God, please change my heart.  I am here to worship you.”  The next morning I knew that God wanted me to spend part of my quiet time with Him on the water in a canoe.  Yeah, my opportunity to canoe was official. I could never have imagined how God was going to use this opportunity to speak to me in a great and mighty way.

As I spent my time out on the water with God, He began to reveal a powerful lesson to me.  He showed me that when we are the only one paddling and don’t have Him at our side helping us, we start to go off the path and eventually end up going in circles.  When we let God help and even take control, we go straight on the path He has chosen for us.  We put out less effort and as we remain in God’s current, things become much easier for us.  When we go against the current, we are with Satan and things get harder and harder.  We will continue to struggle until we cry out to God for help.

God gives us the strength to fight when we are against the current / with Satan.  He will lead us into the still waters where He sustains us.  And so that when things come our way, the waters are rougher and we can get through them with His help.  When things seem scary and the waters are shaky, trust Him and paddle on knowing it’s God’s will and not ours.  He will show us His beauty.

If I had listened to myself and gone the way I wanted to on the water, I would have experienced things God didn’t want me to and would have missed out on his biggest blessing.  You see, if I had avoided going through the tough spots God wanted me to go through, I would have missed the beauty of a dragonfly flying right up to my cheek.  I had never seen a dragonfly before and has asked God, “Please let me see one on my journey in the water.”  God blessed me with this beautiful dragonfly on my cheek as if it were a kiss form God saying, “Thank you my faithful child.”  Now, if I hadn’t listened to God and went on the easier path that I had seen earlier, I would have been on Satan’s path.  I saw a snake on this path which gave me doubts as to staying in the water.  Knowing that there was this snake earlier on would have made my decision of going through the rough spots a definite no.  A fear of knowing what was out there would have convinced me I couldn’t do it.

You see, God will bless us and reward us in our faithfulness with His beauty, even when we are not sure we can press on.  God will take us into His stillness when we give up the fight for our will, our desires, and let God take us into His will.  God is in the beginning and the end of all things - not us, not me and definitely not Satan.

JOURNAL ENTRY
Saturday "FISH JUMPING FOR ME"
by Sandra Hammack

"We have just started our quiet time with God.  From my blanket next to the water I'm watching Christy put her boat into the water.  I've seen so many dragonflies, and I just yearn to run over and tell Christy.  I'm thinking I could write her a note or wave her down.  God is speaking to me softly, "No.  I want to show her myself."  I close my eyes and pray, "God, please show Christy a dragonfly during her quiet time with you." 

I chose this place by the water near the lily pads because they have special meaning to me.  They serve as a resting place for dragonflies and frogs.  During my outdoor wedding, a frog rested on one, and sang to us throughout the ceremony.  In spring, lily pads are fairly obscure, but in the summer they share beautiful blooms.  They stay afloat no matter what befalls them - be it rain, storm, wind, or frogs.  I want to be like that.

I have struggled for a time with sketching a child's feet in the water (for illustrations I've agreed to do).  This morning, "down by the riverside" had come to mind, and I sang it as I got dressed.  I went to the waters edge, sat down, took off socks and shoes, and put my feet into the cool water. I took my sketch pad and pencil and prayed, "God, please lead my hand, let your hand guide the pencil."  I opened my eyes and lifted my head, and there paused before my face was a beautiful orange and black striped dragonfly.  I said, "hey, why don't you go rest on a lily pad and I'll draw your picture?"  He didn't.  I continued drawing what was before me, the lily pads first, then the feet (which actually looked like feet this time), and the tall grass in the water.  I stopped to watch as several dragonflies passed this way and that.  One small dragonfly rested on the blade of grass I was drawing.  He sat there for minutes, as if to give me plenty of time to finish drawing him.  Then, I looked down in the water, and a reed was floating past.  Not just any reed.  This reed had been split in two, and one piece had twisted just above the base, and was gently bent over the first blade to form a cross.  That of course made it into the sketch as well.

I rested for a time, but couldn't sleep. So I prayed and wrote these words "Lord, show me my gifts and how to use them for you. You know my heart's desire is to sing for you.  I'm not worthy. I don't have Jennifer's voice. I don't have Kelly's voice or her talent to write, play and sing.  If you want me to use my voice for you, if it's good enough, please speak to me in your way, and show me that you do."  I lifted my head.  The breeze had blown my retreat guide open.  The page was entitled "Loving God and Praise and Adoration".  Both scriptures on the page began with the same word: "Sing".  Coincidence, perhaps.  Or God speaking.  I prayed again, and wrote this in my journal, "Lord, but I don't have a trained voice.  I cannot even READ music!  I'm too old to start singing for you now.  People will laugh - even the women here at this retreat - if I tell them that MY heart's desire is to sing.  Remember, Lord, when I asked if I could sing at my (friend's) wedding? She said, "No, I have a professional singing."  That hurt, Lord.  That still hurts. I don't want that humiliation or pain again.  Could I just draw or write kids books? or just be a better wife and Mom?  No one would laugh at those aspirations!".  The breeze fluttered through the pages of my book again, and I glanced down at the opened page, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the heavenly lights who does not change like shifting shadows". James 1

I asked God a silly thing next. "Show me a fish jump if you want me to use my voice for your purpose."  I lay down and dozed a bit.  Each time I'd doze, I'd be awoken by the sound of a fish jumping.  After several times of this happening, I sat up to peer in the water, and saw splashing from a fish that had just jumped.  I laughed out loud, "God, you are flirting with me".   I put my socks and shoes on and went to take a nap in my room - no noisy fish there. As I stood to walk away, I looked out over the water, and saw the shadow of a fish as it jumped out of the water.  Then another fish jumped.  I smiled to myself, and worried to myself, too - does EVERYONE see fish jump? Is this just a normal occurrence?  I went to my room and slept for about an hour. I felt a little "jab" as if one of my children was nudging me to wake.  It was God, and he was saying, "Go back to the water, I have something to show you." 

Before napping, I'd left a note on Christy's door saying, "Go down to the water and sit on the blanket that I left there - and you'll see dragonflies"  There was now a note on my door in return that said, "Thanks.  I love you. Christy."  I walked down to the water's edge again, and sat down.  I looked out to my right, and saw a dragonfly passing.  I followed it, until I saw a fish jump - it must've jumped 2-3 feet out of the water.  I giggled, but said to myself, "this is crazy. People see fish jump all of the time,"  I looked in another direction at a dragonfly passing, and just beyond the dragonfly, and other fish jumped clear out of the water and did a DOUBLE FLIP in the air!  That could only be God.    As if that weren't enough, a fish only a few feet away from my feet jumped.  At this point I began to cry tears of joy and thanksgiving, but at the same time admitted to God my fear of moving forward with his calling. 

The dinner bell rang. I wanted so badly to stay by the water with God and his fish.  I learned after dinner that God had shown Christy a dragonfly shortly after she'd gotten onto the water in her boat.  And that Lisa had asked God to let her see a fish jump out of the water, but she didn't see one.  Wow, God had fish jumping for me!

There was not time to explain to the ladies this morning what happened, but actually I do know of what I was healed.  It was the sin of covetousness or selfishness or just plain stubbornness in letting go of earthly possessions.  It all started Friday afternoon with Sam Moon Trading Center.  We had a record time one half hour shopping spree inside Sam's where I bought a necklace, a watch, a small white pocketbook and a pewter cross all for me to take home to Maryland.  I was so excited.  But, God had other plans for my purchases. 

Saturday morning I woke up saying the scripture "By His Stripes we are healed".  This is not a scripture that I commonly ponder and it was not a part of the retreat content.  As I prepared for the day alone in my bedroom, I was puzzled and wondered why I would be drawn to that scripture at this particular time.  I kept looking at the pewter cross on my dresser that appeared to have whimsical violin strings in the center and long musical notes traveling in all four directions.  It was so beautiful.  I gazed at it every time I passed the dresser.  Suddenly, it didn't look like a violin anymore.  The strings were His stripes and the long musical notes were the body of Christ.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  How could I have missed Christ on the cross?    I said to myself, "This cross is truly going to be a significant keepsake to take back to Maryland." 

Before that sentence was off my lips, a new thought popped into my head that said, "Give the cross to Johnnie."  Johnnie was the caretaker and cook at Kaleo Lodge.  I had heard briefly the night before that she was grieving the loss of her mother in January.  Appalled, I said out loud, "Oh no, that cross is going with me to Maryland!"  I stubbornly attempted to push the thought out of my mind.  Not audibly, but as clear as if the Lord was standing in my room I grasped the thought, "You do not need that cross to remind you of My stripes because I will make sure that you see My stripes everywhere."  A moment later I noticed that I was in a room with all striped wallpaper and the stripes in the bathroom had beautiful fern wrapped around each set of stripes.  My cell phone was dead in the morning because I had mistakenly put the charger plug in the earphone hole.  But when I put the plug in the true source of power, stripes came up and the message, "Your battery is charging!"  The trees at Kaleo Lodge cast shadows that looked like diagonal stripes on the ground.  Carrie wore a striped pink shirt.  Beams inside the lodge looked like stripes.  Even the bricks that Martha gave us for our lesson on 'Breaking down the Walls to Worship' had cement-striped elevations molded in to them.   Because it had stripes on it, I took my brick home in my suitcase.  Well, I gave Johnnie the cross and I gained a beautiful friendship with her.  I gave Sam the necklace that matched her earrings and Mary the watch. I didn't know it, but Mary's own watch had broken the day before.  I only wanted to go home with the little dragonfly charm Mary had given to me. 

It didn't dawn on me that the striped brick and the white purse were also possessions that would have to go.  I had forgotten to count them in as possessions.  The brick was confiscated out of my suitcase at the airport as a possible weapon.  And of course I had jammed the brick all the way back in the base of my suitcase so all of my belongings had to be dumped out into those white bins for all to see.  Feathers flew off the decorated bag from Mary and all Karis' serendipity gifts including the lei were spread out along with all my dirty underwear.  If you read the 4/4/05 Retreat Ministry letter presenting the retreat theme, you will learn that tearing down walls will make us vulnerable and spiritually naked.  Well, I am a concrete, basic, visual learner and seeing all my stuff spread out on the table solidified the lesson for me. Gladly I handed the brick over to be trashed, but not until I told the security officer and the security management supervisor all about Martha's object lesson of the wall made of bricks and how the wall must come down brick by brick in order to remove relationship barriers.  It was a fair exchange. 

Now for the white purse-the last possession.  The new white purse caused me to have three bags to take on the plane- my camcorder bag, my old purse and my new purse.  I could only take two bags on the plane.  The kind attendant at the check in desk told me that I could keep all three bags if I could fit the new bag inside the old bag.  While we were both trying to do that, the head officer came over, very annoyed that I was holding up the already late plane and said a very bad word to me.  I can only imagine that he needed a retreat at Kaleo Lodge big time.  He did not successfully rob my joy, but he shook me up a little and it took a while before I could say it and mean it, "Oh well!" 

For Mother's Day, my sweet sister JoAnn is getting the white purse whether she wants it or not.  In conclusion, this is what I have learned.  Daily, there are storms and stumbling blocks and bondages and criticisms and sins in our lives that will moment by moment try to steal our peace and rob our joy.  We cannot hold on to them.  We must get rid of them swiftly.  Jesus bore those stripes on His back and entire body so that we could not only have eternal life in heaven with Him some day, but have daily peace, healing and victory over anything that Satan tries to throw in our path.  When we feel our joy and peace starting to go, we must stop and remember "BY HIS STRIPES WE ARE HEALED" (Isaiah 53).   Christ's healing is for ALL of us who receive Him as our own.  

Beverly Jensen
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JOURNAL ENTRY
"Blessings, Showers From Above!"
by Lisa Ingle                                                                                          

If I were to place a title for the weekend the Lord provided for me in Mineola, Texas this would be it. The Lord used Dragonfly Ministries and this retreat to keep a promise he made to me just a week before. God has placed on my heart to share this with you. HE is so good! Today I sit and reflect in awe of the hand of our creator and the love He has for us.                                            

The weekend retreat was a weekend of resting in the Spirit. The Lord met me right where I was. And let me tell you God knew exactly what I needed. The week before I was in Panama working with a tribe of Indian women.  The Lord shared with me through one of the women who was serving me that He had blessings for me when I returned. I felt He had already blessed my socks off. Little did I know what He had planned! I was given time to delight in the Lord. God truly showered me with His Blessings.                      

When my friend Martha and I arrived at the retreat I was amazed by the beauty of God’s creation and the peace that surrounded the grounds at the Lodge. When I went to my room, there was a pretty dragonfly on a note card with the Psalms 37:4 verse,  “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I knew right then that this was the blessing I had been promised  - the Lord had a weekend planned for me. You see this verse had a very special meaning to me; in January the Lord had laid this verse on my heart while I was healing from an illness. I knew the Lord had a treat for me.

The entire weekend was full of God’s surprises. The very first night we learned about tearing down the walls and we were given a brick. My brick reminded me of a lie that Satan kept trying to throw in my face. That night a few of us spent time in prayer for a sister and God laid His healing hand on her, and I believe on the entire group. Praise the Lord!                                    

The first morning we woke up to the best breakfast ever. My heart was touched by our morning Worship and the testimony that was shared. God reminded me of the journey I had been on and showed me He is a big God and He has a plan for my life. The rest of the day was absolutely wonderful. In the afternoon we all had our own quiet time with the Lord. It was truly a time of delighting in my Jesus. One of the girls said it was as if she was on a date with the Lord. I think that is the best description of the entire weekend.   

To sum this experience up briefly. God invited me to go, I went, He was their, He pampered me, He treated me like a princess, He fed me, He spoke to me, I am learning to listen and surrender to Him. God introduced me to ten wonderful sisters in Christ.
Praise the  Lord!!!